Oh, the Hu-Manatee!

Lakehurst, Florida - An explosion at a political fundraising barbecue has caused the death of seventeen endangered manatees in a Florida wildlife sanctuary. The cause of the blast is still under investigation, but initial reports indicate that strong winds caused a large inflatable gorilla to topple over, striking several grills. Sources close to the campaign indicated that the cash-strapped campaign had filled the decorative pink gorilla with propane gas, rather than rent fuel storage tanks for the grills. Officials from the Lakehurst Manatee Sanctuary reported that seventeen manatees were killed in the blast, and an additional twenty-four were injured. The manatee is listed as an endangered species.

The fundraiser was for the campaign of a mysterious independent candidate know only as "McDougal." The candidate's campaign manager requested that the Lakehurst Manatee Sanctuary serve as the location of their fundraiser because, until this incident, the candidate had been billing himself as strong on environmental issues. However, McDougal provoked a public outcry after the explosion when he quipped that the charred bodies of the deceased manatees were to be ground up and canned under the name "Beef of the Sea." McDougal's campaign manager issued a statement apologizing for these remarks and stating that the meat would be donated to area homeless shelters. The manatee is also known as the sea cow.