McDougal's Movie Reviews - Snakes on a Plane

McDougal took an afternoon off from his busy campaign schedule to catch a matinee of Snakes on a Plane. I took this opportunity to transcribe his remarks and post them here.

Finally, a movie that delivers exactly what it promises. Look. There are clearly snakes. And a plane. This may be the best movie since Porky's. I like that Sammy Jackson Jr. The way he tap dances... When they make a movie about me I want that Sammy Jackson to play me. What? Yes, I realize he is black. It's called artistic license. Read a fucking book you nitwit. What goddamn airline is this?? Look at all that legroom! I wonder if they fly to Pago Pago... Wait a minute... Snakes don't have legs! This movie is full of factual errors. And I didn't like the part where the Crocodile Hunter guy got killed by a stingray. It should have been something really vicious, like a mastodon or an esquilax.

At this point, ignoring the fact that McDougal was confusing the movie with current events, I suggested that perhaps a crocodile would have been fitting. McDougal immediately knocked me unconscious with a tubesock full of sparkplugs. This prevented me from transcribing any further commentary.