What the hell just happened there?

Loni Andersen was the best since I
have you RIGged this infernal machine to automatically trunkate my posts? Like you have me Then he shouldn't have said "bacon on the side"
That's not a BLTon some kind of pay no mind list? I've seen this shit before, dPerry White or Perry Mason?ung, it's calleSeems like you might have let the air out first.d a mutiny. And I'll not stand for it.
Now I know which one you are though. You're the red haired firecracker with tits Lou Diamond Phillips has my back on thisto the moon. I

1. 
   Still can't believe she wouldn't take the goat in exchange for THAT MUCH LETTUCE.

know you, woman. I was married to you for 11 years. You may or may not remember me, but I'm the one who got you the new teeth. You were a funny vixIf I could have done six times the load, you know I would haveen when I found you, lying severely beaten and nearly dead off the 126. Said you were on your way back from TJ, where you were working some dog and pony show for the tourists for something like $44/hour. Lived like royalty down there for that wage. But your heart was black as coal, and you know it. I saved your life woman.
But you know all this. And that's not what You're going to have to spend the night with Reba. I don't know how many nights. She's not back from Yuma yet.I want to talk about anyway. Couple of things while I'm sober. This presidential business. Sure, I'll run. But I want to make a few things clear:

• Walken's out. I want nothing to do with him. That is to say, he's out of the campaign bus. Of course, he's my guy for Veep. He was in that movie with Chris Rock right? Wait, is Chris Rock the wrestler, or is I mean, come on, it's 2071. Things have changed since then.that Charlie Murphy. The one with the funny facial tick. That's the one I want. If he's not at my side, call the whole thing off. And by my side, I mean nowhere near me or my handlers. I don't want to see him, talk to him, or hear what he says in support of our campaign. We're in this together ... but apart. I still don't have an N key. Now, every time I want to type an N, I have to turn the computer sideways and type a Z.

I don't know what a M.E.A.T. party is. But I believe in their principles. So they can count me in Let's just borrow the money, then call Peter Ustinov when it's time to collect.as their leader. I'll do this for free, but I want an honorarium. I want a lump sum payment of I don't think it's a barracudanearly $8,000,000. The exact amount doesn't concern me, but it better not exceed the agreed upon fNo, you're going to have to -- hold on, I have another call. It's the Chancellor. He's come for the goiter, and I can't cover for you anymore.igure by one penny. I also want Tom Delay and John Ashcroft involved. And I want a pint of mescaline and a tanker truck full of those tiny little M&M's. I'm going to throw those to supporters at campaign rallies. I'm going to start training now so that by the time the campaign kicks off, I'll be able to launch them with such accuracy that I'll be able to take out a robin's eye at a quarter mile, if needed. And, trust me, it will be needed.
It took me six days to type all that shit up there. My anger has subsided some, and I can't remember who I'm writing this to. Patrick Swayze once said thatDid I tell you that I fixed the N problem? You have to be smarter than the machine, that's what I always say.