Another message from M.E.A.T. Party Headquarters

It has been a big week here at the offices of the McDougal Presidential Campaign. I know we have caught a lot of flak from McDougal supporters about how disorganized the campaign has been. I want to assure you, as campaign manager, that we are slowly getting things back on track. I inherited this campaign in a severely disorganized state, and have lost a lot of sleep trying to correct the mistakes of my predecessor.

First off, I'd like to thank everyone who has been donating their time, money, drugs and weapons to the cause. There will be more updates on this at a later date.

Second, I want to keep you all informed of the direction this campaign will be taking. McDougal is, to put it mildly, an unconventional Presidential candidate. I think we can use this to our advantage, however. Obviously his legendary exploits will play well among young voters and the drug-legalization crowd. Winning over the more conservative voters will be more of a challenge. McDougal's love of weaponry of all varieties will play well with the NRA crowd, I think. We also plan on really playing up the War Hero angle. What other candidate can match McDougal's military record? He distinguished himself in combat in Cambodia, Laos, Grenada, Nicaragua, Libya, Panama, Bosnia, Afghanistan, Iraq and in the Cola Wars. Hell, some people down south still refer to all varieties of soda as "Coke" because of McDougal's brainwashing techniques.

Finally, the most exciting news...

As you know, our biggest challenge here at the M.E.A.T. Party has been that McDougal himself has been completely unaware that he was actually in the running. Until today. At 2:14 AM, EST we received a phone call from McDougal himself. Apparently he learned that he is a Presidential candidate right here on this very blog. I would not describe the tone of the conversation as friendly by any means. McDougal's end consisted mostly of curses and very graphic threats of bodily harm. However, and this is very important, he did not indicate any actual unwillingness to run for President. We are taking this as an official announcement of his candidacy.