Mighty Steed

McDougal has a prize bull named Condoleeza Rice that he uses as his primary source of transportation. He trained for six months on a mechanical bull in a West Texas Juke Joint to prepare for this "lifestyle change."

A recent, but adamant advocate of environmental consciousness, McDougal has shunned all gas-powered transportation and rides Condoleeza Rice to and from his job at the steel mill outside Westchester (30 miles each way) six days a week.

The commute takes him four hours each way, but he uses the time to read, reflect, and assassinate SUV drivers along the turnpike.

Last Monday, he stampeded Condoleeza Rice through a refining facility in Louisiana, killing 41 people by goring them to death*. The event, however, was covered up by the Bush Administration who did not want news of this type of event to reach the masses for fear of copycat attacks.

~~~
* McDougal did the actual goring himself. Condoleeza Rice was not involved in the death of any of the refinery employees.