McDougal Fast Facts

• Invented margarine & frozen yogurt.
• Once slept for 113 hours straight.
• Has three kidneys (bought one from a Peruvian hustler in 1973 and had it installed by an Amerasian Chiropidist as a back-up. Has only had to use it eleven times, but it paid for itself after a single use.)
• Lived next to Carl Perkins for three years. The two never spoke, but McDougal once saw him naked.
• Ghost wrote "Big Fish" and most of Saul Bellow's early stuff.
• Uses a portable difribulator as an alarm clock and has not overslept in almost two years.
• Thinks it's funny when people call decaf coffee "unleaded."
• Doesn't understand why no one's laughing when he makes them drink gasoline.
• Can hold his breath for over nine minutes.
• Lost three of his fingers in an ill-advised bar bet.
• Still has thirteen (not including the ten attached to his hands)
• Half Cherokee, half ninja
• Puts the "man" in manual.
• Puts his pots in the oven for storage
• Eagerly anticipating Roger Ebert's death
• Prefers Barnaby Jones to CSI
• Eats raw onions like apples
• Smells like oak leaves, cinammon and lavender
• Prefers cats to dogs
• Especially with real butter
• Prefers Muriel Hemingway to Ernest Borgnine
• Despite his earnest proclamations to the contrary, the man can't yodel to save his life
• Knows Big Foot personally
• Knows Farsi
• Knows Fonzi
• Has never met Potsie
• Has never seen Tootsie
• Born deep in the Rwenzori Mountains more than 11,000 years ago
• Raised by Buddy Ebsen and Lakshmi.
• Has the world record high score in Triple Word Yahtzee
• Speaks Dalmatian
• Invented the cure for Tick-borne meningoencephalitis
• Founded the Democratic Forces for the Liberation of Rwanda in 1999
• Favorite food: Bangers & Mash