Her Majesty's Finest Hour

As many of you are aware, McDougal doesn't follow current events as much as we on the campaign tour would like him to. This is generally fine as he gets a daily debriefing from our new intern Diana "Betsy" Ross-Permanente.

And usually once she has him depanted, she tells him what's going on in the world.

We've only started the daily debriefings in the past week, so there is a lot of old news that we just let go (e.g. US History from 1700 to present). Among news deemed not worthy of covering in Ross-Permanente's News Hour was the death of Princess Diana.

This news, however, made its way to McDougal last night via a four-year-old issue of the Weekly World News McDougal found on the floor of a rest stop john just outside of Ontario. Needless to say, the news sent McDougal into a drug-fueled hallucinatory bender that involved opium, ketamine and a quart of Yak's blood.

Oddly, McDougal reached a point of clarity about six hours into the deal and announced that we will not let Her Majesty's Empire fall because of this. (McDougal is unaware of the Royal Divorce, and we intend to keep it that way.)

Also, when he says "Her Majesty," we're pretty sure he's referring to Queen Mary I, whom he believes still rules England.

"We've already lost Calais," he said. "We must keep the Kingdom intact or we will never succeed in bringing back the true Church."

How does McDougal plan to keep the kingdom intact and win back Calais?

He has issued a proclamation that today be marked as "Her Majesty's Finest Hour," and has ordered that we all speak in English accents for the rest of the day.

We get points for using words like bloody, loo, lift, flat, and defenestrate.

Also, we are required to use British spelling of the words humour, colour, and innocuous.