Foley/McDougal Link

In the wake of the Foley scandal and in the interest of full disclosure, McDougal has volunteered to make all his instant messenger chat sessions available to the public.

Here is one I recently had with the big man.

PorkBreakdown: Dude. Do NOT fall victim to that
scent.
NameWithheld: Hey, McDougal. How are you?
How's life on the campaign trail?
PorkBreakdown: Are you listening to me?
NameWithheld: I heard you came down last night.
Sorry I wasn't there.
PorkBreakdown: Yeah. No one was. I kicked in
the wall by the rose bush and climbed through. Had some eggs and
shit.
NameWithheld: Yeah, I saw that when I got back in
town. I think the back door was actually open.
PorkBreakdown: Yeah. I don't mean to imply that I ate some
shit at your house. I actually took a shit. Or left one. Whatever.
NameWithheld: Yes. We had the plumber out.
Don't sweat it. It did seem odd that you crapped in my kitchen sink
though. The kids were kind of freaked out. We thought the dog had
died.
PorkBreakdown: Yeah. That's what I was talking about
earlier.
NameWithheld:: ??
PorkBreakdown: Dude, your dog's pussy smells like
canteloupe.
PorkBreakdown: Hello?
NameWithheld: I'm sorry, what?
PorkBreakdown: YOu never noticed?
NameWithheld: My dog doesn't have
PorkBreakdown: Listen, you don't have to tell me.
I'm as upset as anyone.
NameWithheld: I doubt that.
PorkBreakdown: No, I'm serious. I don't know where
that smell came from.
NameWithheld: What smell?
PorkBreakdown: THe canteloupe. if it wasn't her
pussy, then oh God.
NameWithheld: Are we talking about the same thing?
PorkBreakdown: Your dog?
NameWithheld: My dog's name is Jack. He's a black
lab.
PorkBreakdown: Yeah. That's him.
NameWithheld: OK. He's been hiding under the dining
room table all morning. Did you do something to him?
PorkBreakdown: Nothing unnatural, if that's what you
mean.
NameWithheld: Did you hurt Jack?
PorkBreakdown: Oh, God no. But he hurt me,
man. He hurt me BAD.
NameWithheld: Did he bite you?
PorkBreakdown: I wish.
NameWithheld: Do I want to know what happened?
PorkBreakdown: I think maybe as a safety precaution,
yes.
NameWithheld: OK.
PorkBreakdown: So
PorkBreakdown: Like I said, her pussy smells like
canteloupe.
NameWithheld: His.
PorkBreakdown: Whatever.
NameWithheld: Just so we're clear. I think it's an
important point.
PorkBreakdown: Anyway, don't put your mouth near it.
NameWithheld: You know what. Forget it. I
don't want to hear anymore.
PorkBreakdown: Just listen.
**NameWithheld has signed off**

At least there's nothing incriminating in McDougal's. I think the campaign is on pretty solid ground from here on out.