Brokeback Mountain

I took McDougal to see Brokeback Mountain. Below is a timeline of the events that transpired.

6:48 arrive at the theater, pull into parking space in the back of the lot. Take 4 bonghits each out of ice bong shaped like Betty Boop, listening to King Crimson pre-Microsoft Vista.

7:01 get in line for tickets, McDougal is whooping and yelling like a Native American, saying he's going to scalp the family in front of us heading in to Cheaper by the Dozen 2. Buys our tickets with a $2000 bill.

7:04 while buying popcorn, McDougal shoots his load in the main popcorn distribution bin. I apologize and pull him out, putting his penis back in his pants and wiping down the glass with napkins.

7:09 lights are already down when we get into the theater, previews are rolling, McDougal does his patented "walk up and down every single aisle in the theater until he gets to the very back corner seat, farting the whole time in people's faces" trick.

7:22 gay sex scene commences, McDougal freezes like a lion watching a herd of gazelles.

7:23 McDougal is passed out snoring.

8:58 theater lets me drive car into lobby so they can load him into it, still passed out.

10:47 McDougal wakes up in my living room, turns on What's Happenin' marathon, watches for 6 hours.