Nuts

I was married to McDougal for seven years before I realized he was a man. When I confronted hm about it, he ripped off three of my testicles and one of my fingers ... or ... wait ... three of my fingers and one of my testicles ... or tentacles -- for who am I if not a fish?

McDougal's not gay. We never consumated our relationship. He just needed Spanish citizenship for a while. I felt so used when he ended it. We still talk every couple of months, but now he's cold and aloof, and I wonder ... I wonder ... where the fuck are my three testicles?