Some things about me

People always ask me "McDougal, how are you? What are you doing?"

Pompous assholes. None of your Goddamned business.

Here's what you need to know:

• I've been teaching myself a little karate ... mostly roundhouse kicks and the like.
• My daily cash withdrawal limit from Erstwhile Bank of Maryland is one million dollars.
• My favorite band is Smanch.
• Smanch is also my favorite chocolate beverage.
• My two least favorite phrases are "In my mind's eye" and "toot sweet."
• I really do hate poets.
• I have two stomachs.
• I've met the real Darth Vader.
• My dad was from Singapore.
• I did a stint in the Merchant Ivory Marines.
• I sort of like real bears.