VooDougal 2006 (Part V)

McDougal is gone.

He left us here.

In Haiti.

Still, I can't really fault him for it. He saw a business opportunity and he took it. He found a buyer for the rum in Guatemala, so he loaded up the plane and left. When the money-lust hits him, everything else (like personal hygiene or his Presidential campaign) just becomes insignificant details.

I found this out from the customs officials at the airport. McDougal didn't want to be bothered with taxes and paperwork (insignificant details) so apparently he was paying out very hefty bribes to everything in a uniform that was standing still. They hadn't ever seen anything like it, which is saying a lot in a third world country. Apparently he actually threw a handful of fifty dollar bills at a cardboard cutout of an American Airlines pilot.

They Haitian Customs and Immigration officials when so far as to load his cargo plane for him, while McDougal sat up in the airport bar, downing bottles of Prestige. They said they'd never seen a pilot drink so much before a flight. Again, this is saying a lot in the third world. Maybe it's good that we weren't on that plane with him, not that he would have had room with all the rum. If I were putting money on it, I would bet that the plane was a few cases lighter by the time it got to Mazatenango.

Of course, we are still stuck with the problem of transportation. There is not enough money left in the campaign fund to fly the whole staff back. Hell, there isn't enough left for me to fly back and leave the rest of the staff down here. Believe me, if there were, I would have flown out yesterday... We wanted to have the zombies build us a boat, but after yesterday's massacre they are in no condition for manual labor. Instead, we have enlisted the children from the neighboring villages. This has actually worked out better, I think. They are really quite skilled, and their small hands make for excellent craftsmanship. You ought to see the tiny stitching on the sails. It's really quite breathtaking.

Anyway, it will be a few more days until the boat is ready, and I don't know how long the voyage will take after that... So until we make landfall the McDougal Presidential Campaign Tour is back on hold. Hopefully it will resume again sometime after the new year.