Tuesday, December 12, 2006

VooDougal 2006 (Part III)


We haven't seen McDougal in several days. I have completed the retraining of the campaign staff. I can't think of anything else we need to accomplish here in Haiti, but we are unable to leave without McDougal. In the meantime, I've been trying to find busy work for the staff. Helping the zombies cut sugarcane and such. I've been telling them it helps them learn humility, but I'm pretty sure they know I'm bullshitting them.

I took a team into Port au Prince today. We took a quick drive by the airport. McDougal's plane was nowhere to be seen. Damn. Where the fuck is he?

I decided to take the staff over to the Presidential Palace and have them do a security survey. You know, for training purposes. Sort of a "if you were going to stage a coup, right here, right now, what would you do?" kind of a thing. Their ideas and tactics seem sound. I particularly liked their suggestion that the machete-wielding zombies could be sent in first, as a distraction.

The plan is so good, maybe we will try it out for real. After all, people are always complaining that McDougal's lack of political experience is a liability. President of Haiti might be a good entry level position. Plus it will build some serious foreign policy cred.

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