Miss Virginia and the Thought Brigade

"Hey, I wonder if that's a vagina~`" McDougal says.

I follow his gaze and look out the window as we approach LAX. "I think that's the Pacific Ocean."

"No. Before that," McDougal says.

"The wing?"

"On my seatback."

McDougal's messing with the airsick bag.

"In your hands?" I ask him.

"No. No. Of course not. Hymen?"

"Are you asking or telling?"

"I'm hardly sure anymore," McDougal says.

I agree.

"We've left Virginia?"

"Some hours ago."

"And she's OK?"

"Who?"

"Virginia. How did she take it?"

"The state?" I wonder.

"Yes, what state was she in?"

"Confusion would be my guess."

McDougal wanted me to be certain. "I thought it was Virginia~`"

"We all did," I admit.

"And she's fine?"

"Who?"

"Virginia," of course.

"Dulles?"

"Absolutely."

"Then I agree."

You have to be careful with McDougal on an airplane. You have to be careful with McDougal most of the time.

"Then we should call her."

"Virginia?"

"The state?"

I don't know what to say.

"Will there be money involved?"

"I would imagine. Yes."

"Then we'll call her when the business is done."

"Who?"

"Virginia," of course.

We called the state Virginia.

And she answered.