Campaign Update!

Well, the other Staff Writers here at FOMcD may be inventing lame excuses to shirk their posting duties, but we here at McDougal Campaign Headquarters have been busier than ever. We've had to maintain a brief radio silence over the past month while we moved our operation from The Secure Compound to our Secret Jungle Base (I have included a view of the adjoining Bay of Skulls as seen from Artillery Battery Alpha), where we will be training new members of our campaign staff. Now that this operation is complete, we are pleased to announce that we are about to kick off McDougal's First American Campaign Tour! That's right, we will be traveling across the United States, stopping at various cities, towns and scenic vistas to introduce McDougal to this Great Nation that is badly in need of his leadership. We had originally planned on launching this tour on the Fourth of July, Our Great Nation's Birthday, however when McDougal was placed on house arrest, this had to be delayed. Because of the diligent work of McDougal's personal law firm he will be released shortly from his (possibly wrongful) imprisonment so that he may hit the campaign trail. So keep your eyes peeled gentle readers! The McDougal Campaign Convoy may soon be passing by on a Turnpike near you!