Catty

You know how McDougal's got that thing where he's always eating cats, right?

Well a couple days ago, I was at the McDougals' place in the Hamptons and he was cooking up some cats on that 30-foot barbecue grill he's got. Then his neighbor, Paula Barbieri, comes over. She's wearing nothing but a six-inch grass skirt and a pair of old school Chuck Taylors. She says to McDougal, "You cookin' those cats again?"

McDougal doesn't even skip a beat. He puts his big mitt on Barbieri's right bosom and says to her, "Me and the boys are gonna be eatin' some pussy tonight. You can either join us, or go home and eat your own."

I'll tell you what ...

Nobody ate any cats that night. That's for damn sure.

McDougal may be a lunatic, but he's SMOOTH with the ladies.