Engine Mounts

Was all that on the menu at the Italian restaurant?

Actually, I know what you're talking about. McDougal NEVER orders anything on the menu.

Back last August (after his 5th heart attack), McDougal and I were at a Denny's in Deer Springs, Missouri. The waitress (young girl, couldn't have been more than 18 -- cute ... looked like an American Michelle Wie) comes up to take our order.

McDougal's staring at the menu and he busts out (in French) with, "Yeah, sweetie. I'll have the engine mounts from a 1979 Desoto soaked in a light Brazillian pepper sauce and liver paste, warmed but not burnt, the ass end of a rodeo clown, and three hundred thousand fresh blueberries with a side of amaretto ice cream and a barium enema."*

The waitress doesn't even flinch. She just looks at me. I'm speechless at this point. I don't know what to say. So I just sit there, staring like an idiot.

Then McDougal orders me the Grand Slam.

I'd never had it before.

It was the best meal of my life.

~~~
* In the original French:
Ouais, bonbon. J'aurai les bâtis de moteur d'un Desoto 1979 imbibés dans une pâte légère de sauce et de foie à poivre de Brazillian, chauffés mais non brûlés, l'extrémité d'âne d'un clown de rodéo, et trois cents mille myrtilles fraîches avec un côté de la crême glacée d'amaretto et d'un enema de baryum.