Campaign Announcement

McDougal has been sober since some time Sunday afternoon. He's also not slept since. He's been in round the clock meetings with policy advisers, scholars, and strippers.

He's also issued his first actual platform statement to a conservative group in California (a state McDougal claims may or may not even be a part of the United States of America).

He wrote the following in crayon on the back of a Burger King bag and faxed it out this morning:

The Salton Sea is a 380 square miles lake/inland sea in southern
California. It is full of algae; sometimes it gets so bad that the
neighbors complain.
One of the first acts of my administration will be to
establish algae collection stations around the perimeter of the Salton Sea, both
to make it a more pleasant amenity and to produce biodiesel, the sales of which
will go to support my friends in the military-industrial complex.
Thank you
for your support.