Aztek Spitbird by Pontiac

So there I was - sitting on the hood of my Pontiac Sunbird eating a human pancreas with McDougal. I later told the judge that I didn't know it was human pancreas were were eating.

"Your honor, I believed then as I believe now that that pancreas belonged to a large mammal. Maybe a bear or a silverback gorilla."

I'm not sure why I included that quote in this story. It's hardly germaine to the subject I've set out to discuss. But I remember it. I remember it vividly because it was the day I was given the death penalty by a cowardly Colombian judge.

And the day I decided to move to Greenland.

Where I eat Pancreii whenever I want.

But in Greenland, like in Colombia, driving a Pontiac Sunbird is a capital offense punishable by death.

I didn't know that then -- that you could be killed for driving a Sunbird. Killed by the state. Hanged.

And deservedly so.

This I later learned and now understand.

Now I drive a Vibe.